Criminal Pumpkin Muffins

Why are these so criminal? How can a muffin be classified as dangerous?

It's not really the muffin that should be outlawed, it's the fact that I'm posting this recipe.

You see.... these pumpkin muffins....

have...

two ingredients.

THE SECRET IS OUT.



You'll need:

- 1 30oz can of pumpkin puree - NOT PUMPKIN PIE FILLING
- A box of spice cake mix.

Ha, you think I'm joking.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.



Combine.



Plop into muffin tins.



Bake for about 30 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean. Or until you can't wait any longer, pop one in your mouth, and it doesn't taste like dough.



HAHAHA.

Impress all you friends with your "home-made" muffins. Seriously, it'll be a hoot. And what perfect FALL timing?? You could even say these are low fat - no added oil, eggs, or butter. Some would call these muffins revolutionary.



Some also need to stop getting so excited about 2 ingredient muffins.

Enjoy!

<3 Courtzilla

Best website ever?

"...when eating Bagel Bites, I always have the same dilemma: do I try and bite the mini-bagel in half, getting sauce and cheese all over my lips when I invariably can’t bite cleanly through the bagel, or do I stuff the whole thing in my mouth like some kind of bagel-crazed giant? The answer is b, the bagel-crazed giant one."

Food in real life. Check it, and die laughing.

http://foodirl.com/



<3, the zilla.

Red Wine Pot Roast

Do you know what heaven smells like? I do. POT ROAST.

Holy cow, it's getting cold quick. I need to build up my fat layer. I'm through with you, salads. Bring on the toasty beef stews.

This is an all time favorite of mine.... and this was my first attempt cooking it myself. GREAT SUCCESS! My guts loved me. On to the recipe.

You'll need:
- A chuck roast
- Carrots
- 1 onion
- thyme
- bay leaves
- a nice red wine (cabernet sauvignon? merlot? up to you.)
- beef stock
- 1 can cream of mushroom soup
- onion soup mix
- salt and pepper
- i think I added garlic
- splash of olive oil

Let's get this love fest started.

First, chop up your veggies while your big, oven-safe pot is heating up. Also, preheat your oven to 325 ish degrees. This thing is going to go in for a longgggggggggg time.


Nice big chunks, please. And....I used baby carrots so I wouldn't have to chop. UBER lazy.

Now, season your chuck with a nice healthy portion of salt and pepper. When you're buying one, look for good marbling. The fat makes it superrrr juicy and tender.


Both sides, folks.

Ok, you want your pot screamin' hot. We want to get some nice color on this beef. Plop it in your pot.



THIS is color, baby.


After it's gotten a lovely tan, take your hunka meat and let it rest for a bit. Now we want to get some color on the veggies.


BTDubs, check out the mess I'm making. NICE.


Plop in your veggies.



Till they look like this.


You don't want to cook them, just brown them a bit.

Ok, now lay your meat on top of your veggies. Make it a nice little bed.



Now... add in the cream of mushroom soup, about a cup of wine, just enough beef stock till it just covers the meat, the onion soup mix, and your garlic and herbs.


How pretty is that!! Now - stick it in the oven, and walk off. This was about a 4 pound chuck roast, so I left it for about 3 and a half hours.

What did I do for 3.5 hours...by myself...in my apartment?


What.

I couldn't let it go to WASTE.


Once the roast is done, you'll know. It literally fell apart on me when I was trying to get it out of the pot. PERFECTION.


Ughhhhhh... I need to make another one of these stat.


See! Fell apart. That's a very, very good sign.

You'll want to fish out your bay leaves and the thyme stems. That would be a gross bite.

I made some mashed potatoes to serve them with. You can throw the potatoes in with the roast, but IMHO they get all...mealy. And not tasty. I'm all about tasty.



Guys??? Holy cow. So good.



I clearly hated it.


AND I hated the wine too. I finished the whole bottle. I am a glutton.

Make this for your significant other, they will FALL IN LOVE.

Enjoy!

<3
Courtzilla