Tomato Tortellini Soup

Can we have a moment of honesty here? I swear, I started with a recipe. Then...thennnnn....I got adventurous. I added. I added. I ADDED. Let's try and recall what I did, shall we? This should be a fun game.

You might need:
1 can of diced tomatoes
1 can of tomato sauce
4 cups of chicken broth
1 cup of milk
Mayhap a splash of beef stock
1 stalk of celery
1 small onion
1 carrot
1/4 cup of flour
1 - 2 cups of cooked chicken
1 small package of cheese tortellini.
2 cloves of garlic
3-5 thyme stems
2 bay leaves
Plenty of salt and pepper

Maybe. That's what I remember anyway. Moral of the story: this is more of a technique then an actual recipe. Nonetheless, it was a DELICIOUS experiment.

First, you want to create a base for the soup. In french cooking, the combination of onion, celery, and carrots is called a mirepoix. Basically, it's magical. The sum is far greater than it's humble parts.

So, chop up your celery, carrot, and onion.

And saute in a bit of olive oil. Use a big pot. Especially if you're prone to adding. Don't look at me.

Then, my pictures jump from the saute above, to this:

So, let's piece together what I did.

First, add the flour and mix it with the vegetables until they're all coated. This will act as a thickening agent. Now, you can dump in your broth and milk. Allow that to cook for about 5 - 10 minutes until it reduces a little and thickens up. Then, add the diced tomatoes and tomato sauce for a good tomato flavor. Add your garlic, salt, pepper, thyme, and bay leaves. Taste it at this point. Do you want to tinker with it? It's all about what you like. Feel free to throw in vegetables, some spinach would be really good in this. Or some green beans! I'm pretty sure this is the point I threw in the towel though.

Bring the soup to a boil, and throw in the chicken and tortellini for 8 - 10 minutes, until it's warm.

Serve up a big bowl with your favorite crusty bread.

Feel free to burn the bread while you're tinkering with the broth too. It's what the cool kids are doing.


<3 Courtzilla


Huevos Rancheros

I don't know about you, but one of my favorite styles of food is Mexican. Simple ingredients, inexpensive, simple preparation, BIG HUGE flavor. Does it get any better?

One thing that's always weirded me out a bit was huevos racheros. Ranch eggs? Basically an egg taco? Whatttt? Then, I tried making it. Holy cow. It's super tasty! It's a fast breakfast/lunch/dinner too, and nice and light. Basically....I just got done eating it and I think I want 4 more.

Here's what you'll need (for one serving):
- 2 eggs
- 2 corn tortillas
- 1/4 cup cheddar cheese
- tbsp of chopped cilantro
- 4 tbsp of your favorite salsa
- 1/2 lime
- salt, pepper
- dollop of sour cream
- re-fried beans (optional)

First, you'll want to get all your ingredients ready to go - the cooking process takes like 5 minutes. Heat up your pan. Chop up the cilantro, grate your cheese, cut a lime in half, get everything in a little assembly line.

Ok, spray some cooking spray on your skillet, and throw in your tortillas. This will crisp them up a bit, and warm them up too.

When those have heated, I just put a thin layer of re-fried beans on the tortilla and nuke it for 30 seconds at the end. Totally optional, I just like the creamy texture.

Looks like dog shit, tastes dddeeeelicious.

Ok, now spray the pan again, and crack a couple of eggs in the pan.

I broke a yolk. CRAP. Courtzilla, strikes again.

Once the bottom sets up, flip it over, and put some cheese and salsa on top of the eggs.

Throw a cover on top of the pan. This will melt the cheese without over cooking the eggs. At this point I take the pan off the heat and just let it sit for about a minute.

Ohhhhh yeahhhhhh.

Throw it on your tortilla, put a dollop of sour cream, a squirt of lime, and some cilantro on top and you are solid.

Andddd... dig in.


Excuse me, I need to make some more.


<3 Courtzilla


Criminal Pumpkin Muffins

Why are these so criminal? How can a muffin be classified as dangerous?

It's not really the muffin that should be outlawed, it's the fact that I'm posting this recipe.

You see.... these pumpkin muffins....


two ingredients.


You'll need:

- 1 30oz can of pumpkin puree - NOT PUMPKIN PIE FILLING
- A box of spice cake mix.

Ha, you think I'm joking.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.


Plop into muffin tins.

Bake for about 30 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean. Or until you can't wait any longer, pop one in your mouth, and it doesn't taste like dough.


Impress all you friends with your "home-made" muffins. Seriously, it'll be a hoot. And what perfect FALL timing?? You could even say these are low fat - no added oil, eggs, or butter. Some would call these muffins revolutionary.

Some also need to stop getting so excited about 2 ingredient muffins.


<3 Courtzilla


Best website ever?

"...when eating Bagel Bites, I always have the same dilemma: do I try and bite the mini-bagel in half, getting sauce and cheese all over my lips when I invariably can’t bite cleanly through the bagel, or do I stuff the whole thing in my mouth like some kind of bagel-crazed giant? The answer is b, the bagel-crazed giant one."

Food in real life. Check it, and die laughing.


<3, the zilla.

Red Wine Pot Roast

Do you know what heaven smells like? I do. POT ROAST.

Holy cow, it's getting cold quick. I need to build up my fat layer. I'm through with you, salads. Bring on the toasty beef stews.

This is an all time favorite of mine.... and this was my first attempt cooking it myself. GREAT SUCCESS! My guts loved me. On to the recipe.

You'll need:
- A chuck roast
- Carrots
- 1 onion
- thyme
- bay leaves
- a nice red wine (cabernet sauvignon? merlot? up to you.)
- beef stock
- 1 can cream of mushroom soup
- onion soup mix
- salt and pepper
- i think I added garlic
- splash of olive oil

Let's get this love fest started.

First, chop up your veggies while your big, oven-safe pot is heating up. Also, preheat your oven to 325 ish degrees. This thing is going to go in for a longgggggggggg time.

Nice big chunks, please. And....I used baby carrots so I wouldn't have to chop. UBER lazy.

Now, season your chuck with a nice healthy portion of salt and pepper. When you're buying one, look for good marbling. The fat makes it superrrr juicy and tender.

Both sides, folks.

Ok, you want your pot screamin' hot. We want to get some nice color on this beef. Plop it in your pot.

THIS is color, baby.

After it's gotten a lovely tan, take your hunka meat and let it rest for a bit. Now we want to get some color on the veggies.

BTDubs, check out the mess I'm making. NICE.

Plop in your veggies.

Till they look like this.

You don't want to cook them, just brown them a bit.

Ok, now lay your meat on top of your veggies. Make it a nice little bed.

Now... add in the cream of mushroom soup, about a cup of wine, just enough beef stock till it just covers the meat, the onion soup mix, and your garlic and herbs.

How pretty is that!! Now - stick it in the oven, and walk off. This was about a 4 pound chuck roast, so I left it for about 3 and a half hours.

What did I do for 3.5 hours...by myself...in my apartment?


I couldn't let it go to WASTE.

Once the roast is done, you'll know. It literally fell apart on me when I was trying to get it out of the pot. PERFECTION.

Ughhhhhh... I need to make another one of these stat.

See! Fell apart. That's a very, very good sign.

You'll want to fish out your bay leaves and the thyme stems. That would be a gross bite.

I made some mashed potatoes to serve them with. You can throw the potatoes in with the roast, but IMHO they get all...mealy. And not tasty. I'm all about tasty.

Guys??? Holy cow. So good.

I clearly hated it.

AND I hated the wine too. I finished the whole bottle. I am a glutton.

Make this for your significant other, they will FALL IN LOVE.